The Last Seven: Which US States Still Allow 'Alienation Of Affection' Lawsuits And Why Damages Can Reach $1.75 Million
As of late 2025, the concept of suing a third party for "stealing" your spouse's affection—a legal action known as the tort of Alienation of Affection—remains a surprising reality in a handful of US jurisdictions. While most states abolished these "heartbalm torts" decades ago, viewing them as relics of a time when spouses were considered property, a small, yet significant, group of states continues to uphold this controversial civil claim. This legal anomaly can lead to massive financial judgments, as evidenced by a recent high-profile case in North Carolina where a social media influencer was ordered to pay a staggering $1.75 million for allegedly destroying a marriage.
The persistence of the Alienation of Affection claim—and its closely related cousin, Criminal Conversation—highlights a deep legal and cultural divide over the sanctity of marriage and the right to seek compensation for emotional, psychological, and financial harm caused by a marital interloper. For anyone living in or traveling to one of these states, understanding this unique area of family law is crucial, as a casual affair could potentially ruin more than just a marriage—it could lead to financial devastation for the third party.
The Exclusive List: The Seven States Where You Can Still Be Sued
Alienation of Affection is a common law tort that was once available nationwide, but over 40 states have since abolished it, largely due to concerns over privacy, extortion, and the belief that a marriage must already be failing before a third party can "alienate" affection. However, the following seven states have resisted this trend, maintaining the claim on their books. North Carolina is by far the most active state for these lawsuits, filing hundreds annually, but the law remains technically valid in the others.
The Alienation of Affection States (AOO)
- North Carolina (NC): The undisputed capital of Alienation of Affection lawsuits. North Carolina sees the most filings and the largest damage awards, including the recent $1.75 million verdict. The law is actively litigated and defended by the state's Supreme Court.
- Mississippi (MS): This state recognizes the tort, allowing a spouse to sue for the loss of love, society, and consortium.
- South Dakota (SD): South Dakota is one of the states that has retained the claim, though cases are far less frequent than in North Carolina.
- New Mexico (NM): Alienation of Affection remains a viable cause of action in New Mexico courts.
- Illinois (IL): While Illinois technically recognizes the tort, it has complex statutory limitations and caps on damages, making it less common than in North Carolina.
- Utah (UT): Utah is often cited as a state that still recognizes the tort, though its application is rare.
- Hawaii (HI): The tort is still recognized in Hawaii, adding it to this exclusive and controversial list.
It is important to note that the laws in these states are constantly under legislative and judicial scrutiny. For example, New York abolished its heartbalm torts, including Alienation of Affection, back in 1935. However, as of this writing, these seven states are the last holdouts where a third party can face a civil lawsuit for interfering with a marriage.
The Million-Dollar Question: Proving the Three Elements of the Claim
To successfully sue a defendant for Alienation of Affection, the plaintiff (the "wronged" spouse) does not need to prove that the defendant and their spouse had a sexual relationship. The core of the claim is the loss of the marital relationship itself. The plaintiff must successfully prove three specific elements in court.
The standards for proof are rigorous and require compelling evidence, which is why these cases often rely on extensive communication records, witness testimony, and financial data.
- Pre-Existing Love and Affection: The plaintiff must demonstrate that a genuine marital relationship existed between the spouses, with some level of love and affection, prior to the defendant's interference. The marriage did not have to be perfect, but a total lack of affection before the affair can be a strong defense.
- Alienation and Destruction of Affection: The plaintiff must show that the love and affection that existed in the marriage were alienated, destroyed, or significantly diminished. This is the core injury for which the plaintiff seeks compensation.
- Defendant's Malicious Conduct as the Cause: The most critical element is proving that the defendant's malicious, intentional, or wrongful conduct was the cause or a contributing cause of the alienation. The defendant must have acted with some degree of knowledge or intent that their actions would damage the marriage.
A common and powerful defense against this claim is proving that the marriage was already completely broken or "alienated" before the third party ever entered the picture. If the marriage was already failing, the defendant cannot be held liable for its destruction.
Understanding the Twin Tort: Alienation of Affection vs. Criminal Conversation
In the states that still recognize Alienation of Affection, the claim is almost always brought alongside a second, distinct "heartbalm tort" called Criminal Conversation. While the names sound similar, their legal requirements and purpose are different.
Criminal Conversation
Criminal Conversation is a much simpler tort to prove. The plaintiff only needs to establish two things:
- A valid, legal marriage existed between the plaintiff and their spouse.
- Sexual intercourse occurred between the plaintiff's spouse and the defendant during the marriage.
Unlike Alienation of Affection, the plaintiff in a Criminal Conversation case does not need to prove that the defendant caused the marriage to fail, or even that the marriage had any affection to begin with. The mere act of adultery is the injury.
Why File Both?
Plaintiffs often file both claims simultaneously because the same set of facts—an affair—can support both. The Alienation of Affection claim allows for recovery of emotional damages, while the Criminal Conversation claim compensates for the physical violation of the marital bond. Filing both maximizes the potential for a large monetary judgment, which can include compensatory and punitive damages.
The Financial Stakes: Damages and Statute of Limitations
The reason these lawsuits grab headlines is the potential for significant financial awards. Damages in Alienation of Affection cases are intended to compensate the innocent spouse for their profound loss.
Types of Damages Awarded
- Compensatory Damages: These cover actual losses, which are often non-economic. They include compensation for emotional distress, humiliation, injury to health, and the loss of loss of consortium (the loss of the spouse's love, companionship, society, and sexual relationship).
- Punitive Damages: These are awarded to punish the defendant for particularly malicious or egregious conduct and to deter others from similar actions. Punitive damages are often what push verdicts into the millions of dollars, as seen in the recent 2024 North Carolina case.
Statute of Limitations
The window for filing these claims is relatively short and strictly enforced. In North Carolina, the statute of limitations for both Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation is three years from the date of the last act of interference or the last act of sexual intercourse. This three-year rule is common across the states that still allow the tort, though it can vary. The clock starts running from the last act, not necessarily the date the plaintiff discovered the affair, which can make the timing of the lawsuit a critical legal hurdle.
The continued existence of Alienation of Affection remains a contentious topic in American family law. While critics call it an antiquated tool for revenge and financial ruin, proponents argue it is a vital safeguard for the institution of marriage, offering a necessary legal remedy for the profound injury caused by intentional third-party interference. For the few states that keep this law, the high-stakes verdicts ensure that the "heartbalm torts" will continue to be a subject of intense legal and public interest for the foreseeable future.
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